The Infestation of Ass-Sucking Frogs

Rarely do I ever slip into sarcasm or satire, but this plague of negativity is so demoralizing and detrimental to our progress that I felt this was the time to post a private rant of mine on the topic.  Most of the time, I think one proves to be more articulate and well-read when they don’t need to resort to crude language to get their point across; however, there are times when certain words create a picture most effectively.  So here goes, with what I’ve been thinking about pessimism…

Today’s topic is about ass-sucking frogs, the most recent infestation, and the impact they have on society.

For you, my readers, let me explain the phenomenon that is ass-sucking frog, hereby referred to for the duration of this post as “ASF.”

Picture a bullfrog, bulbous throat expanded; all 18 inches of legs hanging, limp and distended; aquatic, rubbery lips attached solidly on your ass cheek.  This, my friends, is the ASF.

To put this recent infestation in perspective, those among us with bad attitudes, negative outlooks, and dire predictions of failure and doom have been invaded by the ASF.  They foretell of woe and dismemberment: financially, professionally, and/or socially.  They see only the risk, and they major in the worst case scenario.

And one can hardly blame them.  How else would you react to finding yourself a host to this most pervasive of parasites?  The suckage of butt cheeks allows for only the most gloomy of outlooks and futures.

The impact on society is simply this: a message goes out that says, “Live small!  Take no risks!  Play it safe!”  And the creators, inventors, visionaries, and pioneers are persuaded to give up on pursuing their dreams, to sit down, shut up, and carry-on with the status quo.

Because after all, an individual with a bullfrog living on his ass ought to know what he’s talking about.  Right?


2 thoughts on “The Infestation of Ass-Sucking Frogs

    • Thanks, Steve! I’m almost embarrassed by this post (obviously it’s quite different than my usual), except for the fact that I despise negativity. I appreciate the affirmation. 😉


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